As bloggers, we tend to look at everything through the eyes of being a blogger.
So, as the campaign trails heat up for the Presidential election, and we get to know more about the men and women fighting for the ultimate political office, I figured it would make sense to explore what they would be like if they were bloggers.
The Contenders
In no particular order…
Donald Trump
If Donald Trump had a blog…you would pay for it.
It would be filled with advertisements, mostly for his own products.
His headlines would be eye-catching and controversial, but the post itself would strangely repeat the same points from every other post. He would be the master of repurposing content.
The longest post on his blog would be his About page.
His most popular post would be, “Why I’m Better Than You and Why You Like It”.
Ben Carson
If Ben Carson had a blog, it would be minimalist and drab.
His posts would never exceed 500 words.
From time to time, he would go on a tirade and lash out in posts, only to have his last paragraph remind us that he’s a changed man and calm us all down.
His content would be thought-provoking, to the point where you would question reality.
His most popular post would be, “How the Pyramids Were God’s Massage Chair”.
Bernie Sanders
If Bernie Sanders had a blog it would be developed in html 1.0 and optimized for Netscape Navigator.
During his presidential run, he would go over the top with his website design and add a blinking .gif to his menu and maybe even a scrolling ticker across the top.
There would be minimal images used and everything would seem disheveled.
He would not expect you to pay for anything he’s offering and would provide it all for free!
He would also try to build his audience by providing a link to his GeoCities community.
He is sick and tired of hearing about email lists and wouldn’t even offer an opt-in.
His most popular post would be, “10 Ways to Wave Your Arms to Emphasize Your Point and Grow Your List”.
Hillary Clinton
If Hillary had a blog, it would of course be fully responsive and optimized for cell phones.
She would be the queen of getting people to opt-in to her massive email list, but wouldn’t be using Mailchimp, AWeber, or any other known email provider.
Her blog would mysteriously have constant pop-ups of Bill Clinton cross promoting his own blog.
Her content would never be considered evergreen as it would change over time too much.
Her most popular post would be, “Carly Doesn’t Have Sh*t On Me”.
Jeb Bush
If Jeb had a blog, he would struggle for readers.
He would try to be controversial and master the art of click-bait yet would fail to actually draw anyone in.
Ironically, his blog would have every expensive widget and subscription back office component known to man helping run the whole thing.
The weirdest thing about his blog would be the lack of his last name appearing…anywhere!
His blog would ultimately be abandoned, but no one would really notice.
His most popular post would be, “How to Survive External Expectations”.
The Rest
Here are some of the remaining candidates…
Martin O’Malley
If Martin O’Malley had a blog, it would have a huge picture of himself, with an exceeding smile that makes everyone uncomfortable, as the landing page.
His whole blog would talk about Maryland, whether you liked it or not.
His most popular post would be, “Discover My 15 Go-To Political Hand Gestures to Dominate Your Next Debate”
Marco Rubio
If Marco Rubio had a blog it would be very dry.
Strangely, his content would be well structured with impressive words, and delivered well…yet still dry.
His most popular post would be, “How to Kick Your Mentor’s Ass”.
Ted Cruz
If Ted Cruz had a blog it would be dominated by long-form content.
He would have multiple manifestos posted and would never be below 5000 words on any single post.
His sidebar opt-in giveaway would be a signed copy of Green Eggs and Ham.
